I am often asked for advice on how to communicate a difficult message. They are asking for the right words that would convey their needs in a way that would be received well without a conflict ensuing or perhaps they are trying to diffuse a conflict that has already started.
The reality is only 7 % of the actual words we use will actually be received by the other party. The other 93% of the communication is non -verbal, 38% tone of voice and 55 % body language. Non- verbal communication is all about the messages we are sending and receiving on an unconscious level through our tone and body language. Now don’t get me wrong words are very powerful, especially if only 7 % is getting through. You want to make sure the words you are using have a significant impact.
What I am saying is pay attention to the non-verbal or you will miss a huge piece of the communication. The reality is we can have 2 people say the same words and get completely different results. We are taking in the other person’s conscious and unconscious intentions. This is reflected in their body language, tone and overall energy whether they wish this or not, most times people are trying to push down their feelings. There was a senior manager, named Julie (not her real name). She was having difficult meetings with a union executive, not uncommon as there are difficult issues but did it have to continue? The answer is No. Julie reported in the second coaching session that the union executive asked her what happened after one of their union/management meetings, the results from the session were extremely productive and he said she was different but couldn’t identify what it was. The issues hadn’t changed.
The reality is that when we are completely clear and focussed internally we are significantly more effective! We all have those unproductive and at times tense meetings with other professionals. There are solutions to transform those opportunities. If you haven’t had a chance to claim your gift listed on the home page on the 5 Keys to transform your professional relationships take a moment now.
Next month we will be talking about how the experts are saying we are operating 95% of the time on autopilot or unconsciousness. I will be talking about our 3 states of unconsciousness in workplace, business, community and life and how we can increase our consciousness and success.
Stay tuned!
